She was really over making friends today, people were really mean in the last village she was in. She rolled her eyes as she turned towards him again. Who does this guy think he is talking to me like that? Basil thinks to herself.
Basil starts laughing nervously. Once she catches her breath again, she responds, "Oh buddy, I have no clue. I'm headed there myself eventually, I just need to find or make or earn a wand first." She starts to walk away.
Months have passed since Ronin has freed him self and has stared on the long journey to Elantris. Along the horizon of the road he sees a girl walking ahead of him. He starts to walk faster toward her and once closer he yells "Hello, may I ask you a question!"
[[S: My strength was putting my character's attitude into her actions. W: The whole story needed more action and narration.]]
[[when I write I tend not to write detail when its needed. But I feel like I am good a describing a scene]]
She was really over making friends today, people were really mean in the last village she was in. She rolled her eyes as she turned towards him again. Who does this guy think he is talking to me like that? Basil thinks to herself.
"Yes?" she asks with a painfully fake smile.
As she walk away he pulls his right hand back ready to reach something. With a stern voice he asks "May I ask one more thing before you go?"
[[add in a bit more narration, some description, some behavior]]
Basil starts laughing nervously. Once she catches her breath again, she responds, "Oh buddy, I have no clue. I'm headed there myself eventually, I just need to find or make or earn a wand first." She starts to walk away.
"I would like to know if this a way away to Elantris?" he asks with a heavy breath.
Basil whips around at the sound of someone screaming and footsteps coming closer. She is greeted by a man she doesn't know.
"Oh, hi. What do you need?" she says, confused
Months have passed since Ronin has freed him self and has stared on the long journey to Elantris. Along the horizon of the road he sees a girl walking ahead of him. He starts to walk faster toward her and once closer he yells "Hello, may I ask you a question!"