[[S: ive done plenty enough when it comes to preparing for upcoming events W: however ive put way too much effort into setting stuff up that i never got to carry thus ideas out]]
[S: Good use of the environment, and descriptions. W: Writers could read each others pieces more carefully when writing their own piece. Some of them don't exactly match up to the others.]
Trendran watches the horse rider and random interact. Fearful his location has been compromised recedes deep into the forest and proceeds to quickly and quietly flank westward around the clearing, heading towards the upside of the stream splitting the clearing in half.
Temple pushed her knees against Archer's side, which sent him trotting across the clearing. When she reached the dark haired man she circled him the stopped in front of him. "Where is this new home you are traveling to?" She gripped the reins tighter, suspicious of the new person.
Temple stands in the tree line watching dark shadows move across the field, Archer shifts his weight and lets out a sigh. Temple clicks her tongue, and moves out of the tree line, just enough to be seen. "Who's there?" She calls, an aggressive tone in her voice.
Trendran, moving hurriedly, ran off in the direction of a horse running in the distance. Hearing the singing he thinks nothing of it, obviously the rough voice of Resveld, he has nothing to do with them. eventually Tren comes against a clearing, the shadow of a Resveld standing in the middle, but no horse to be seen.
Off in the far distance, a loud bout of singing erupts on the other side of the ridge. It isn't good, but you might know the song as an old war chant, sung to small children as a nursery rhyme throughout the Resveld kindgom.
"OH TO BE MEEEEeeeeeeeeeEE
out on this SEEEEAaaaaaa.
You couldn't finddddd....
a saltier lass than meeeee...."
The sound eventually fades as the verse closes and is gone as an echo drifts in a cave.
Archer slowly walked through the dark forest, Temple riding on his back. She pulled on his reins and steered him towards an open clearing, she could hear movement in the distance of something larger than just a rabbit. A shadow could be seen in the distance, farther into the clearing.
The forest was almost pitch black with only the sounds of the occasional cricket chirping. After exiting the trees Apollyon came to a small spring placed in the center a clearing.
[[S: ive done plenty enough when it comes to preparing for upcoming events W: however ive put way too much effort into setting stuff up that i never got to carry thus ideas out]]
[[S: I feel like I did a good job progressing the plot line. W: I could have used more sensory details to flesh out the post.]]
[S: Good use of the environment, and descriptions. W: Writers could read each others pieces more carefully when writing their own piece. Some of them don't exactly match up to the others.]
Trendran watches the horse rider and random interact. Fearful his location has been compromised recedes deep into the forest and proceeds to quickly and quietly flank westward around the clearing, heading towards the upside of the stream splitting the clearing in half.
Temple pushed her knees against Archer's side, which sent him trotting across the clearing. When she reached the dark haired man she circled him the stopped in front of him. "Where is this new home you are traveling to?" She gripped the reins tighter, suspicious of the new person.
Temple stands in the tree line watching dark shadows move across the field, Archer shifts his weight and lets out a sigh. Temple clicks her tongue, and moves out of the tree line, just enough to be seen. "Who's there?" She calls, an aggressive tone in her voice.
Trendran, moving hurriedly, ran off in the direction of a horse running in the distance. Hearing the singing he thinks nothing of it, obviously the rough voice of Resveld, he has nothing to do with them. eventually Tren comes against a clearing, the shadow of a Resveld standing in the middle, but no horse to be seen.
Off in the far distance, a loud bout of singing erupts on the other side of the ridge. It isn't good, but you might know the song as an old war chant, sung to small children as a nursery rhyme throughout the Resveld kindgom.
"OH TO BE MEEEEeeeeeeeeeEE
out on this SEEEEAaaaaaa.
You couldn't finddddd....
a saltier lass than meeeee...."
The sound eventually fades as the verse closes and is gone as an echo drifts in a cave.
Archer slowly walked through the dark forest, Temple riding on his back. She pulled on his reins and steered him towards an open clearing, she could hear movement in the distance of something larger than just a rabbit. A shadow could be seen in the distance, farther into the clearing.
The forest was almost pitch black with only the sounds of the occasional cricket chirping. After exiting the trees Apollyon came to a small spring placed in the center a clearing.